Today has been a mixed day, and since I've crossed midnight, it's tomorrow already.
My leg hurts. My water retention has gotten bad enough that my left leg is swollen and leaking like a partly popped blister. And it hurts like blazes. I need to take my water pills, and take a walk, and find a bathroom and take a walk and take my water pills and take a walk ...
And when I walk I need to protect my leg. It's not infected, but I need to keep it clean so any opportunistic bacteria doesn't get a toe-hold. I measure my hydration/dehydration by the hoarseness of my voice: if I have a voice to sing with then I need to lose water.
That is aggravating. I love to sing, and if I cannot make music that's one more joy gone.
I have other joys, but as I have said, today (yesterday?) has been a mixed day. I ended up sleeping through most of it, which means I'm not likely to sleep well tonight. I'll put up my movie playlist, 'drop the needle' on something I like but can ignore, and wake up whenever. Usually at three or four A.M., and won't be able to go back to sleep until nearly noon, then ...
I have tried to make a point of going to bed by eleven, or even ten, and force myself up at six, if I've managed to sleep that late (see above), and start the day: light breakfast, meds, get washed and dressed, go out for a walk. Come home and do something or other for work.
That's the plan.
Stay active, stay alive. Don't sleep so much.
The movie I woke up to was "The Ron Clark Story."
Inspiration is where you find it. Still a mixed day. I watched the end of the movie an hour ago; it reminded me of why, ultimately, I wanted to teach.
It also reminded me, tangentally, of Simon Sinek's TED talk: "How Great Leader's Inspire Action" If you are in a position of leadership, you need to watch it.
AS I SAY, it reminded why I wanted to teach. It also reminded me of the 1960's ads for the Peace Corps: "The Hardest Job You'll Ever Love." I never joined the Peace Corps, though my oldest brother did. He came out a bit changed. More importantly, he was alive, and didn't need to be drafted.
The why. I need a why or two. Why to not sleep the day away, but instead to do something useful and hopefully meaningful.
Remembering, per Mr. Sinek, the why is not to make money: the monetary gain is incidental to the why.
Why? To fill a need, to serve a cause, to put a smile on a face. I've lost my specific 'why'. Why let my leg heal, why get up and move, why take those hateful water pills?
Why teach?
Why?
Why try?
Okay. Look at 'The Butterfly Circus', a short film (not sure if it's findable any more). The message:
'The Greater the Challenge, the More Glorious the Victory!'
Okay. My leg still hurts.
Rise above it.
Yes, I Can.
