Which versus What

I was caught by one of those YouTube offerings the other night. You know the stuff: comedy, history, music, odd videos that don't categorize well sometimes.

This was a humor video, stand-up comedy by a lady named Jeanne Robertson (JeanneRobertson.com - free plug, enjoy) I liked it because it was my favorite combination of attributes: Clean and Funny. It didn't hurt that she is about my age (sixty-something), and spoke, indirectly, to this common issue of opposites attracting. She is a free spirit, not to say a blithe (does anyone use that word anymore?) spirit; and her husband is nick-named 'Left-Brain', for his down-to-earth, matter-of-fact, analytical ... oh, well, heck, let's just say it: 'Left-Brain' is a stick-in-the-mud. His idea of adventure is going to a different burger joint than usual.

I may be running him down too much. If so, Mrs. Robertson is welcome to take me to task.

Some of the best relationships can come from such pairings.

Another person who has acknowledged these different pairings, and has had much to say about them is Dave Ramsey (www.ramseysolutions.com/financial/peace/ - another free plug), with his comparisons between the Nerd versus the Free-Spirit. His famous call: "Nerds and Free-Spirits Unite!" is part of his desire to get these pairings on the same page so they can have a successful life and not wake up poor.

And then there is us, my wife and me. On the face of it I am the 'Nerd' while she is the 'Free-Spirit'. And I can be very much the stick-in-the-mud, and very devoted to science, math, and other 'hard' studies. Whereas my wife is very creative, is a story-teller, creates wonderful costumes (the bear-cub has been just about everything for one Halloween or another, except a 'bear-cub'), can take the five forgotten things in the fridge and turn them into a wonderful meal.

So, it's obvious. I'm the nerd and she's the free-spirit.

Except we're not. Close observers will see that SHE is the one who keeps the books, or ought to, and LIKES it, and I am the one who daydreams. What we are, and always have been, are square pegs trying to fit into round holes. 

What is nifty, though, is that while we are oddities, we are also wonderfully matched. We have common interests, as well as complementary interests and skill sets. In other words, we have enough in common that we can 'pull together' in the same direction (most of the time, at least), and enough differences that we can cover each other's lacks, (most of the time). 

If I were the one to plan things, it's often done at the last minute, and jury-rigged. I need to have my dear, sweet, wonderful wife be the person to do the planning if it is to be accomplished, and accomplished well. 

Well, that's not quite true. I have been known to plan. I plan getaway times so that I KNOW I will not be late someplace. And I've heard the comments of fellow travelers (those riding with me), and fielded their questions/statements "we could've left later if you'd go faster."

And that was true. However, as sure as you are reading this if I had touched the accelerator and gone above the posted limit by even just a few miles per hour, the local constabulary, or county mounty, or Highway Patrol would be pulling us (me) over. And he would not be impressed that we were in a hurry to get to a sales meeting that we would now definitely be late to.

He or she would write the ticket listing the moving violation, as well as any other bonus issues that the officer's sharp eye would bring to light, smile, hand me the ticket, and tell me to drive carefully. And would my fellow sales-people help pay the fine? Maybe, but likely not. And the points go on MY license, not theirs.

So I plan for the time of the trip and don't speed.

I also planned for my career at the Big Red 'R', making sure I had all the bases covered and crossed every 'i' and dotted every 't', eventually becoming a manager of a store. 

I did well, but at the same time, it was too much for me.

Subject change: Jeanne Robertson (remember her) has a running theme in her talks: Always find the humor no matter the situation. If life hands you peanuts, make peanut butter. Or something like that.

I was fired from the 'Shack. I'll get into the reasons some other time. Maybe. But don't hold your breath.

I was fired, and it was not my first experience of being fired. I'm not sure you can easily come up with a humorous view of such events. I really never have. 

At the same time it can give you an opportunity to look at your strengths and choose a new direction. It kind of forces you to do this, actually.

So my longer-range goal of becoming a store manager, and my plans to get there, came to fruition. and I forgot the next step: consolidate the achievement and determine how to run the store honorably and successfully. Then make a new goal and create a new plan. 

I worked at doing the one and hadn't gotten to doing the other. I had also forgotten to find a way to relax. In time I might have come to grips with what I needed to do to keep my employees happy, my customers happy, and ultimately keeping me happy and healthy. With a smile on my face I think I might have taken that store to being a million dollar store. 

But that's water under the bridge.

I should mention at this point that my mom would cross up two metaphors: 'water under the bridge' with 'water over the dam', often coming up with 'water over the bridge', or sometimes 'water under the dam'.

Which brings us back to 'Which versus What'.

What is your focus? What are your strengths? Can you do it all yourself? Do you have the time to do it all yourself? If you had someone you could trust to do the things that person or those persons are best at how would that help you do what you are best at?

Which path is the better path to get you where you want to go? How does it help the people helping you to get there? Are they willing to follow you there? 

Why?

I watched/heard a TED talk some time back that illustrated these ideas. It is very much worth the watch.  (https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action/  Yet another free plug. You're welcome.)

Why do I do what I do?

I have to be honest, I have never seen myself as a leader. This has gotten in the way of my being the head of my household, much to my wife's frustration, as well as the frustration of my children. I react instead of leading. Very little planning is done besides just day-to-day stuff. I have no idea where I want to be in a year or five, or even much further than the next five days.

In my position, what would you suggest that I do? How can I find my why? And where do I find the humor to sustain me and those around me? 

As always, though, whatever your plans are, whatever your trials are, whatever your strengths are, you can make it one more day, at least.

Yes, You Can!

Zamizdat, Dance, and White Nights

About a month ago I hunted up a DVD at my local library. They didn't have it, but they were able to borrow it from another branch.

I love libraries, by the way.

Anyway, the the movie was 'White Nights', and I had checked it out because of the dancing. The Bear Cub is a dancer, and had not seen it. I take the opportunities I find to introduce her to dance that she may not have seen. Her preference is Hip Hop, but she enjoys all forms. For myself, I believe the statement that 70's song 'Teach the Children Well' is a good guideline: feed [the Bear Cub] on my dreams and see what she picks.

My many dreams include acting, singing, movement (I tend more to Mime than dance), and the sciences.

An odd mix, I'll admit.

The Bear Cub early on showed herself to be a dancer. Always on her toes, seldom did her heels touch the floor when she was a young child. She enjoyed singing and always being the drama queen. But her first love is dance.

Which brings me to 'White Nights'. The dancing is outstanding, and all too brief. 

The Bear Cub was impressed.

Then there was the story. Without giving anything away (I try to avoid spoilers) the story is about a Russian ballet dancer who defected, was on his way from one dance engagement to the next when the aircraft had an in-flight emergency and had to make a landing in an 'any port in a storm' fashion. That landing was in the Soviet Union, and at a Soviet military airfield. 

Defector reclaimed.

The rest of the movie revolves around him trying to find a way back out of the Soviet Union. See the movie.

Mikhail Baryshnikov plays the role of the dancer, and since he is indeed a Soviet defector and a ballet dancer, this could be considered type-casting. His foil in this story is an American defector, a tap dancer, played by the late Gregory Hines (outstanding in the role).

In accordance to the Law of  Unintended Consequences, what started as showing the Bear Cub some dance ended up reminding me of just how much freedom we have in this country, and how this is being curtailed in the name of security and safety. Even the notion of Free Speech is being infringed in inconceivable ways, making any notion counter to the notion espoused by the mainstream media has to take to alternate methods, almost to the point of becoming American Zamizdat. 

Zamizdat was underground news, opinions, and music, and all things unapproved by the Politburo, passed along by underground means. This goes without saying that it was fought against, by fair means or foul, by the State. 

Is that what we are coming to? I would say: YES!

The Internet, once the great equalizer has become a force of censorship. But it is NOT the government doing the censoring. In the name of 'Political Correctness', posts are being taken down from social media pages, lest they offend someone's sensibilities. Blogs are taken down for the same reason. News is becoming one-sided and editorials pretend to be news stories. And people (those 'wrong-headed'ones) are being banned and muzzled, including a former President. 

To these Arbiters of Thought, it is not enough to simply disagree with these people of differing opinions, These People Must Be SILENCED! They must be silenced for the good of all 'right-thinking' people, the ones who feel unsafe the moment a conflicting thought is seen or heard, the ones who are afraid to think for themselves. And if the counter-culturalists won't be silenced, then they must be destroyed! The force of identity politics is brought to bear.

If an idea cannot stand up to a conflicting thought, then that idea is poorly thought out. If you must resort to such unfair methods to silence your opposition, you are a tyrant.

Don't be a tyrant.

Instead, we must follow Voltaire's example: 

"I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it!"

The solution to so-called bad speech is more speech. Put one thought up against the other in the marketplace of ideas and let the ideas duke it out. Fight fair, and may the best idea win!

If you must resort to censorship to protect your idea, then that idea is a poor idea. And don't pull out that chestnut: 'It's not the government so it can't be censorship' line. It doesn't matter who gags you to prevent your ideas from being expressed, it is censorship. If you are coerced into self-censorship, afraid what your peers may think and say, that is censorship. If a government prevents the free assembly of your group to petition our government for redress of grievances, calling that group 'Insurrectionists', that is censorship, . 

If a person or group in charge of providing connectivity and voices to those who have something to say (such as you), decide that some things may not be said, ESPECIALLY on the basis of what that speech is, they are guilty of censorship, just as surely as if they broke into your newspaper's office and destroyed your presses.

Whatever is done to 'unlevel' the playing field, that is censorship, no matter how blatant or subtle.

The movie White Nights wasn't about Dance. It was about the one place in the world that a person could pursue their own path, to be free to choose that path, win or lose, to succeed or fail. Nothing guaranteed, except to have their own expression presented in the arena of ideas. Dance or Diatribe, Song or Polemic, to be able to bring an idea to life, whether it is a building or a statue, or a machine to help complete a task (think bulldozers, welders, even autonomous robots, all helping to build), or to create a new way of healing. Or anything else.

Think of ideas that enable governments, our government in particular, to protect these freedoms. Think of a government that gets out of the way of people 'taking care of business'. Think of the productivity of these people. Think of the freedom to be yourself.

It all comes down to Freedom. Freedom to speak. Freedom to act. Freedom to live unencumbered by unnecessary rules. 

Is the United States of America perfect? No. But nothing is.

Does this country come closest to the ideal of freedom for all? YES. Are we perfectly there yet? No.

 Are we as a nation collectively moving in that direction? I believe we are. But there are some pushing in the opposite direction, disingenuously waving the flag of 'freedom'.

I'm reminded of ants on an anthill: two ants may find something that needs to be moved and they each attach themselves to it. They may head the same direction. Or they may have a tug of war trying to move that item. They each have what they think is the best idea on what to do. And in the end that pebble or morsel of food arrives at its (in the ants' opinion) proper destination. Sometimes it is the wrong destination. Somehow the ants get it sorted out.

We are more than ants. We should not, we CANNOT muzzle one another lest we miss the best ideas. We must not let some ideas become only available as Zamizdat. ALL ideas should be heard, and heard openly. 

That is how we find the best thoughts, the best ideas, by hearing them, letting them be tested in the crucible of true public opinion, not the stuff the talking heads give us.

We must all fight for freedom, beginning with the freedom of voice, the freedom of not being muzzled.

Yes, You Can!

Yes, We MUST!

E Pluribus Unum!

Let's see if THIS blog stays up!