A Compass Points North ... (Revisiting a Revisit: Foster and Adoption)

 First, a link to an earlier entry: Revisiting Foster Care and Adoption

 Second, the videos, starting with the newest: ReMoved #3

Third, the original two: ReMoved, and Remember My Story: ReMoved Part 2

Fourth, What's it to you?

I really don't have a lot to add to the above today, and I admit to being pretty worn out. But I can say this: If you can find it in your heart to love someone who is hard to love, and give them a little something that they would not otherwise have, do it.

Just that: Do It.

Love is never wasted. Kindness is never wasted. 

If you watch ReMoved #3 you'll get the title of this blog.

Spread some Love around.

Yes, You CAN!

"L'il Bit's Hug Song"

 It's been forever since I've posted here.

Our grand-nephew is having his fourth birthday. Well, actually, he had it almost a month ago. Everyone was set to visit Sis-in-Law's place in the middle of the back of beyond (no problem with that, she likes her space), and have a good time. It's not the first celebration, or even the first birthday we've held for the lad in this remote location. But, winter being what it is, and in spite of it being an excessively mild winter, chose that very weekend to throw us a slushy winter storm. And considering the travel requirements, it was thought best to reschedule. 

It's been rescheduled (yay). The snow has melted, the roads are open spring is springing (almost) and it's St Paddy's Day, for the love of Mike.

For his birthday, I dug out something I'd written some time back that was hiding in my steno pad notes. I settled on steno pads as being the best thing for carrying around to write notes in, not too big, but big enough that I wasn't forever flipping pages on my shirt-pocket notepad to get what I had in mind written down. No wonder stenographers used them.

Yes, I know, everyone nowadays has a phone with voice activation to take notes with, but old habits die hard; I'd established this habit in the early nineties, and I've only had a fan-dang fancy phone for the last five or so years. 

True fact, the newest iteration of a so-called 'smart' phone I made sure it had a stylus for writing things, and two of the apps I added were sketchpad and floorplan apps. Great! 

The one problem is, the registration of where the stylus taps and what appears on the screen is an infuriating couple of millimeters off from each other. And not even Motorola lists a way to tighten up that gap. 

Life is.

BUT, that's all just stuff and nonsense. The story's the thing, after all. 

I wrote this "Hug Song" while having a breakfast at McDonalds a few years ago. I decided it was time to transfer it to the computer, and was (finally!) able to find the steno pad it was written in. I cleaned it up a bit, then tried to enlist my own bear-cub to team-read the story (she was unavailable). I read it aloud myself, and recorded it as a nighttime story for grand-nephew, and burned a CD (actually a DVD) of it and a few other things.

And finally I'll get to deliver it.

I thought you'd like to read it, so here it is.

                L'il Bit's Hug Song

The scene: LizaBeth (“Li’l Bit”) Behr’s bedroom. Cub-sized bed with a toy chest at its foot, pine cones carved into the tops of the bedposts. Li’l Bit is tucked in, holding her favorite stuffed toy, a bunny holding a carrot. The coverlet is a patch-work quilt, well-used and well-loved. The only light comes from the bedside table lamp, the ceramic base in the shapes of the three monkeys, ‘Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil’. The room is cozy despite the wind making the pine trees shiver and sprinkling the window with snow. A bit of moonlight is sneaking in through the window, past the snowflake lace curtains.

Beside the bed, in a straight-backed chair, sits George Bear, story book open but forgotten on his lap.

“Papa?”

“What is it, cub?”

“I don’t want a story tonight. Can I sing a song instead?”

George smiled, “I suppose, Li’l Bit. Is it a song you learned in school?”

“No Papa. I made it up myself.”

“Those are the best kind. Go ahead.”

Li’l Bit’s Hug Song (with asides)

     (The rhythm is a slow waltz time) 

I have a family that’s nice, so nice. 

They’re warm and fuzzy not cold like ice.

And do you know what else is right?

We all hug each other all day and all night.      (“We do?”)

                                (“Yes. Now hush, Papa. This my song!”)

                                          (“Oh. Sorry.”)

Mama hugs Papa, He Hugs her right back.

Ma hugs J.R. And he makes a big fuss.               (“That doesn’t rhyme, hon.”)

                                (“It doesn’t hafta rhyme, Papa!”)

                                          (“Okay.)

But when she’s not lookin’ he’s smiling so big.

But when she’s not lookin’ he’s smiling so big.

My Mama Hugs me, an’ I feel so safe.

Nobody can hurt me when she’s right there.

Papa is big, an’ he growls a lot,         (“I do?”)  

                                (giggling “Yeah, you do.”)

But I know he loves me, ‘cause he hugs a lot, too.    (“Awww.)

 

I hug J.R. when he’s not looking.

He growls at me an’ says, “Hey Cub, what’s cookin’?”

He’s not meaning supper, that’s just his way

Of askin’, “What’s up, Cub? How is your day?”       (“Hey! That rhymed!”)

                                (“Papa!)

                                          (“Oh, sorry.”)

                                (“J.R. sometimes gives me noogies.”)

                                          (“Is that bad?”)

                                (“No, that’s Good; s’long as he doesn’t do 'em too hard.”)

Sometimes I wake up and I’m scared at night.

I hug my stuffed bunny an’ say “It’s all right,

“Listen,” I tell her, “That’s Papa’s Big Snore,            (“I snore?)

                                       (“Yes, Papa. You sound like a big tree breaking. Shh.”)

“And Mama’s snore, too. And what’s more,”

                              

“There’s that funny sound that J.R. makes … ("I’ve heard him, you’re right, it is funny.")

                                  (“Papa, HUSH!”)

                                            (“Sorry”)

“There’s that funny sound that J.R. makes,

“An’ the sound the house makes when it is asleep,

“It’s hugging us, too, to have an’ to keep.”

So I hug my bunny an’ snuggle back safe.

And smile to my bunny an’ smile to myself.

I go back to sleep with a smile on my face …

I go back to sleep with a smile on my face.

                                            (“Are you finished?”)

                                  (“Not quite, Papa.”)

                                            (“Okay.”)

There’s soooo many smiles, an’ there’s soooo many hugs.

Sooo many ways to know I am loved.

Sooo many smiles and soooo many dreams.

So many everythings are making good dreams,

So many everythings are making good dreams.

 

                                            (“… Now are you done?”)

                                    ( yawn “I think so, Papa.”)

                                            (“That’s a good song. Thank you.)

                                            (Love hugs for you, Li’l Bit. Honey Dreams.”)    

And that's that. I couldn't get my drawing eye to work (it's out of practice), so no picture to go with like "Forever Family." Such is life. I'm practicing, so maybe I'll add an illustration later. 

I'm gathering these stories to publish, hopefully sooner rather than later. Wish me luck!

IN ANY CASE, I hope you had a Happy St. Patrick's Day, and may the wind be ever at your back!

And until we meet (or meet again), may the Good Lord hold you in the palm of His Hand!

Begorra!

Wheaton's Law, Some Thoughts.

This just came up. 

Apparently, Wil Wheaton came up with this suggestion (perhaps not originally his; I've seen it on a t-shirt with stick figures, but we'll let it stand for now): "Don't be a dick." Kind of like Murphy's Law or Godwin's Law, it seemed something worth saying, and to get it into the Canon of the World, it needed naming, and who better...

So, Wheaton's Law. 

Just so you know, I like Wil Wheaton; he did very well as the sometimes irritating know-it-all Wesley on ST:TNG. I'm a know-it-all, too, so I can relate. He's done other things since then ("Mr. Stitch" comes to mind), but I've not heard a lot since TNG went off the air. My TV broke about the same time, so there might be a causal relationship there. What I HAVE heard has caused me to bristle a bit, and makes me think that Mr. W should follow the law that's named for him. Not wanting to start a flame war; just wanting to let you know that my appreciation of him is not unmixed.

Now that that is (hopefully) out of the way, onward.

"Don't be a dick," IS, generally speaking, good advice. One should not be intentionally or unthinkingly rude or hurtful.

On the other hand, it has become well-nigh impossible to say or do something without offending someone. We used to say, "No offense [intended]," after making a statement that could perhaps offend,  and get the reply, "None taken," and conversations and life went on. Sometimes offense was taken, usually because the speaker was being a dumbbutt. Sometimes, though, offense was taken because the offended was too thin-skinned to let something roll off his back. And nowadays we have people who are offended on your behalf (even if you, yourself, aren't), and are willing to demolish the offender to recover your honor. This takes on truly scary consequences.

Example (taken from Malcolm Gladwell's, David and Goliath): a man does a drive-by purse snatch in front of a Hard Rock Cafe in California, but because he thinks (purse in hand) the girl isn't respecting him enough, he sticks the muzzle of the gun he's carrying in her ear, and pulls the trigger.

An extreme example, you say? How about this for extreme:  

A sixth-grade kid shoots a first grader for dissing him by stepping on his shadow! (I do wish I could give the reference for this.)

Never mind the tool used for retribution. Note instead the trivial level of offense that caused it. People are going nuclear on people for being offended by them. This has got to STOP!

First of all, because getting one's feelings hurt over such trivial things is nonsensical: it's just hurt feelings. If your feelings get hurt, understand you have no bruise otherwise.

Am I minimizing the effect that destructive words can have on a person, especially when delivered by a person who has authority over another? Maybe. Rather, I'm saying that maybe we should self-advocate more, if only by saying to ourselves that offender is wrong. It takes time to learn this, and, I must admit, the things that are said to us can last decades. 

More to the point, though, is that we shouldn't go looking for something to be offended at, having our abuse radar set way too sensitively. As the neighbors to the guy with the overly sensitive car alarm can attest, it gets irritating (offensive?) to be awakened by a car alarm in the middle of the night, night after night, just because the wind blows.

Learn to brush off offense.

What does this have to do with Wheaton's Law? 

In the normal give-and-take in society, and in the struggle to accomplish an overall good, conversation needs to happen. One shouldn't 'be a dick', as that gets in the way. However, sometimes things need to be said to point out a problem, or to give proper criticism to what is happening or how things are going (or not going). You may come off as a 'dick' in those situations, despite not intending to be so.

Do you not be a 'dick', and thereby allowing something broken go unfixed, potentially causing much greater harm than the original offense would have caused?

We've all done this a time or two, hoping someone else would pass the word. Other times, we've bit the bullet instead of our tongue and spoken into the discussion something we've felt needed to be said.

Myself, I've been bitten many times when I've stepped in like that that I've gotten quite gun-shy about saying my piece about things out in the open.

Hence, this blog, I suppose.

But, you have to say uncomfortable things sometimes. People will be offended, and they may even call you names. Names like: 'Dick'. 

I guess what I'm saying is, if you can avoid being a dick, without compromising being a truthteller in the arena of ideas, do so. Sometimes, in some person's eyes, it will be unavoidable. Let integrity (not meanness) win out.

Like I used to say, you can call a spade a spade. There is no need to call it an 'Effing Shovel'.

(cue a Flip Wilson/Tim Conway comedy bit here.)

No offense intended.

The More I Learn, The More I Am AMAZED!

The more I learn, the more my thought processes are informed by the information (that sounds circular; bear with me), the more I let the free association of ideas, dreams, facts, and 'What-Ifs', the more I let that stew churn...

The more I am AMAZED.

I could never understand people who thought science was BORING! Wonder and amazement lurk around every corner.

A sort of aside: I once read a story (One of Zenna Henderson's 'The People' stories, can't remember which one, they are worth reading if you can find them) where a boy would ask a dad a 'what?' or 'why?' or 'how come?' question, and Dad wouldn't answer him immediately, but days later without preamble would just give the answer. Maybe he didn't know at the time, or maybe it just needed thinking about, but he would just drop the answer in the boy's lap, so to speak, and leave him to his own devices. The boy was used to it; it was just the way his dad did things.

I know, TL/RD: the boy would ask a question, the answer would come later, sometimes days later.

My brain works that way. 

When we were learning about cilia and flagella in junior high life science class, someone asked "how do they spin?" The answer was somewhat vague. I absorbed that as 'I'll get the answer later'; I, too, had by that time questions I couldn't get immediate answers to, so I tabled that question. Every now and then I'd get serendipitous answers, 'A-HA!' moments that would make me smile and say to myself, so that explains THAT!

Today one of those 'A-Ha's happened, trying up one thing, and borrowing explanations from things I already knew. Midway through the episode I found myself grinning.

Another aside: I have learned though experience that if I have a half-smile, whatever I am experiencing is pleasing either the left brain (logical, etc.) or the right brain (artistic, etc.), depending on if the smile was on the right or the left. A broad grin, therefore, involves the entire brain. (Try this yourself, your mileage may vary...)

So here I am, grinning to beat the band, and I ask myself, "Why am I grinning?" and I realized that this episode made my entire brain happy. People are different, so maybe for you this won't be the case, but here is the link:

     "Nature's Incredible Rotating Motor" 

From the SmarterEveryDay (no link) YouTube channel. I ended up subscribing. No requirement that you do so, though.

My life is full of these tabled questions. I'm sure yours is as well. Every now and then we get the wild hare and have to chase these answers down. Sometimes we are content to leave them on the list of "Life's Great Unanswered Questions," and get on with our day.

Sometimes we get a surprise answer to one of those tabled questions that makes us grin. Sometimes, the answer that we decide to chase down brings grins to other faces when we find it. 

That is a good thing.

Each of us have the ability to put a smile on people's faces (resisting the urge to quote Oscar Wilde). However you do it, you can put a smile on someone else's face. if you can include Wonder and Amazement for yourself and someone else, so much the better.

Yes, You Can!

T-Plus Fifty-Five Years and Counting.

It's about time. 

I'm completely unsure whether this needs to be blogged on this page, but I don't care.

Fifty-five years ago today Neil Armstrong set his two feet on a place other than Earth, the first time any human being had done so. He was the first, but he was not the last. 

Then the novelty wore off. just when we were getting the hang of getting there and back, and proving that we could even handle a space emergency of epic proportions, just when we were starting to do some serious science ...

We quit. We got bored. Space flight was no longer a 'new' thing. Ho-hum. 

It's passed time we went back into space, and I mean not just messing around in the wading pool of Low Earth Orbit. Richard Branson and others want to make that the playground of the rich. 

Well, early adopters always have been people that had money to throw at the newest thing. That's okay. When the costs come down, then us middle-class folks can enjoy.

To that end a certain Mr. Musk has been working on getting us back into space, effectively 'on the cheap' (as compared to how the government plan works), with the thought of moving out of LEO and onward back to the moon, then outward to mars and other places that might be colonized. His detractors (and distracters) of course are beating him up for being so bold as to be a non-government business to try to do so. 

Too bad, so sad. More power to him, I say.

I ran across something ... Not true. I went looking for it. Chaos Manor, formerly a column in Byte magazine, then a website. Byte has gone away, but JerryPournelle.com is still present, even though both he and his wife Roberta have passed on. One of the pages that is still alive is: 

    How to Get to Space (https://www.jerrypournelle.com/reports/jerryp/gettospace.html)

where he details an X-program to get there. I encourage you to visit and see what else can be found. It is two decades or more old, but since it has only been fairly recently that there has been any sort of effort, it is still pertinent.

As it happens, Mr. Musk has followed much of it and has proceeded to create exactly what Dr. Pournelle had in mind, albeit with variations. With the result of Space-X and the various Falcon Single Stage to Orbit vehicles taking over what the Shuttle can no longer do. And doing it more cost-effectively.

And folks are kicking him in the teeth as he does it. 

He has taken what he has been given and multiplied it. He started with nearly nothing and he has now made more than a name for himself. And he has proved the adage that if you're successful people will be doing their best to beat you down because you bested them.

Your turn.

All you who criticize these start-from-scratch successful folk, quit criticizing and do better, IF you can. At very least try to do as well. If you get even part-way towards a big goal, you will be far better off than you are by yelling at the successes out there. Be the ones the "Poor-Me"s yell at instead.

You can be bigger that they are. You can be more successful than they are. You can be in a better position to help others along the way than they are. You can be more generous than they are.

Yes, You CAN!

THIS is why you'll NEVER hear a voice like Judy's again.

Today is a day for music. And AutoTune. 

And, as long as AutoTune is being used, the natural voice will no longer truly be heard. 

Yeah, I get it, it fixes out of tune voices and creates crazy effects (a la Cher's ' Do You Believe in Love After Love). But a couple of things are lost: the appreciation of voices of people who can really do their stuff, as well as the warmth and expression that a person with talent can give to a piece of music. 

Listen to this fellow:

I think he makes a pretty good case for his hypothesis. Taking away nothing from Kelly Clarkson, perhaps the production crew in the sound booth might serve her better if they let her sing.

Along the way, I'm reminded that really good instrumentalists, and really good vocalists have this in common: they hear a phrase or read the music and it flows through their instrument, whether that instrument is a physical object they interact with, or their voice (or, in my case, my mouth when I whistle) automatically. 

I hear 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow', and I can sing or whistle it with ease, only being limited by my vocal (or whistle) range. Well trained instrumentalists, well adapted to their instrument do the same. Their physical actions may be more involved, but it's the same thing. 

And therein lies the beauty.

If you are a musician, keep on being one with your instrument, and your music.

Yes, You Can!