Which versus What

I was caught by one of those YouTube offerings the other night. You know the stuff: comedy, history, music, odd videos that don't categorize well sometimes.

This was a humor video, stand-up comedy by a lady named Jeanne Robertson (JeanneRobertson.com - free plug, enjoy) I liked it because it was my favorite combination of attributes: Clean and Funny. It didn't hurt that she is about my age (sixty-something), and spoke, indirectly, to this common issue of opposites attracting. She is a free spirit, not to say a blithe (does anyone use that word anymore?) spirit; and her husband is nick-named 'Left-Brain', for his down-to-earth, matter-of-fact, analytical ... oh, well, heck, let's just say it: 'Left-Brain' is a stick-in-the-mud. His idea of adventure is going to a different burger joint than usual.

I may be running him down too much. If so, Mrs. Robertson is welcome to take me to task.

Some of the best relationships can come from such pairings.

Another person who has acknowledged these different pairings, and has had much to say about them is Dave Ramsey (www.ramseysolutions.com/financial/peace/ - another free plug), with his comparisons between the Nerd versus the Free-Spirit. His famous call: "Nerds and Free-Spirits Unite!" is part of his desire to get these pairings on the same page so they can have a successful life and not wake up poor.

And then there is us, my wife and me. On the face of it I am the 'Nerd' while she is the 'Free-Spirit'. And I can be very much the stick-in-the-mud, and very devoted to science, math, and other 'hard' studies. Whereas my wife is very creative, is a story-teller, creates wonderful costumes (the bear-cub has been just about everything for one Halloween or another, except a 'bear-cub'), can take the five forgotten things in the fridge and turn them into a wonderful meal.

So, it's obvious. I'm the nerd and she's the free-spirit.

Except we're not. Close observers will see that SHE is the one who keeps the books, or ought to, and LIKES it, and I am the one who daydreams. What we are, and always have been, are square pegs trying to fit into round holes. 

What is nifty, though, is that while we are oddities, we are also wonderfully matched. We have common interests, as well as complementary interests and skill sets. In other words, we have enough in common that we can 'pull together' in the same direction (most of the time, at least), and enough differences that we can cover each other's lacks, (most of the time). 

If I were the one to plan things, it's often done at the last minute, and jury-rigged. I need to have my dear, sweet, wonderful wife be the person to do the planning if it is to be accomplished, and accomplished well. 

Well, that's not quite true. I have been known to plan. I plan getaway times so that I KNOW I will not be late someplace. And I've heard the comments of fellow travelers (those riding with me), and fielded their questions/statements "we could've left later if you'd go faster."

And that was true. However, as sure as you are reading this if I had touched the accelerator and gone above the posted limit by even just a few miles per hour, the local constabulary, or county mounty, or Highway Patrol would be pulling us (me) over. And he would not be impressed that we were in a hurry to get to a sales meeting that we would now definitely be late to.

He or she would write the ticket listing the moving violation, as well as any other bonus issues that the officer's sharp eye would bring to light, smile, hand me the ticket, and tell me to drive carefully. And would my fellow sales-people help pay the fine? Maybe, but likely not. And the points go on MY license, not theirs.

So I plan for the time of the trip and don't speed.

I also planned for my career at the Big Red 'R', making sure I had all the bases covered and crossed every 'i' and dotted every 't', eventually becoming a manager of a store. 

I did well, but at the same time, it was too much for me.

Subject change: Jeanne Robertson (remember her) has a running theme in her talks: Always find the humor no matter the situation. If life hands you peanuts, make peanut butter. Or something like that.

I was fired from the 'Shack. I'll get into the reasons some other time. Maybe. But don't hold your breath.

I was fired, and it was not my first experience of being fired. I'm not sure you can easily come up with a humorous view of such events. I really never have. 

At the same time it can give you an opportunity to look at your strengths and choose a new direction. It kind of forces you to do this, actually.

So my longer-range goal of becoming a store manager, and my plans to get there, came to fruition. and I forgot the next step: consolidate the achievement and determine how to run the store honorably and successfully. Then make a new goal and create a new plan. 

I worked at doing the one and hadn't gotten to doing the other. I had also forgotten to find a way to relax. In time I might have come to grips with what I needed to do to keep my employees happy, my customers happy, and ultimately keeping me happy and healthy. With a smile on my face I think I might have taken that store to being a million dollar store. 

But that's water under the bridge.

I should mention at this point that my mom would cross up two metaphors: 'water under the bridge' with 'water over the dam', often coming up with 'water over the bridge', or sometimes 'water under the dam'.

Which brings us back to 'Which versus What'.

What is your focus? What are your strengths? Can you do it all yourself? Do you have the time to do it all yourself? If you had someone you could trust to do the things that person or those persons are best at how would that help you do what you are best at?

Which path is the better path to get you where you want to go? How does it help the people helping you to get there? Are they willing to follow you there? 

Why?

I watched/heard a TED talk some time back that illustrated these ideas. It is very much worth the watch.  (https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action/  Yet another free plug. You're welcome.)

Why do I do what I do?

I have to be honest, I have never seen myself as a leader. This has gotten in the way of my being the head of my household, much to my wife's frustration, as well as the frustration of my children. I react instead of leading. Very little planning is done besides just day-to-day stuff. I have no idea where I want to be in a year or five, or even much further than the next five days.

In my position, what would you suggest that I do? How can I find my why? And where do I find the humor to sustain me and those around me? 

As always, though, whatever your plans are, whatever your trials are, whatever your strengths are, you can make it one more day, at least.

Yes, You Can!